Relationship difficulties and break-ups
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Relationship and break-up problems are one of the most common issues that make people to seek therapy and that is because relationships play an very important role in our lives.
Cognitive Behavioural therapy is not only very effective to deal with couples difficulties but also to help individuals who are suffering or have suffered emotional distress because of a relationship. Individual therapy and help can be offered for the following issues:
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Dilemmas about either stay or leave a relationship
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Trying to let go and move on after a relationship break-up
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Not having enough confidence to meet or develop relationships with the opposite sex e.g. due to assertiveness problems or deficient dating skills.
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Loneliness
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Difficulty in maintaining and develop intimate relationships e.g. problems tolerating other partner’s flaws, infatuation, fear of commitment…
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Jealousy problems
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Guilt and anger problems (abortion, affairs, bad temper…)
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Gay issues
On the other hand, couples can find that Cognitive Behavioural therapy, particularly Rational Emotive Behavioural therapy is solution focused oriented and addresses their main difficulties in a brief period of time. Therapy is designed to assist heterosexual or homosexual couples with their relationship problems. It can be used to gain more insight into each other, to learn new and more effective ways of communication, and to learn how to solve problems.
Relationship problems that can be resolved in therapy are varied. The following list represents only a sample of some of the issues that can be dealt with:
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Communication difficulties leading to arguments and conflicts
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Intimacy or sexual problems
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Anger problems and domestic violence
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Loss of interest for the other partner
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Separation and divorce counselling
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Infidelity issues
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fighting and criticizing
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Incompatibilities issues
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Family problems and disagreements
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Thoughts of divorce
During the first and second session of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (REBT), the psychologist will help you and your partner identify the conflict issues within your relationship, and will help you decide what behavioural or cognitive changes (perceptions, inferences or interpretations) are needed in order to feel satisfied with the relationship again.
These changes may be different ways of interacting within the relationship, or they may be individual changes related to personal psychological problems. Couples therapy involves learning how to communicate more effectively, and how to listen more closely. Sometimes the process is very similar to individual psychotherapy, sometimes it is more like mediation, and sometimes it is educational. The combination of these three components is what makes it effective. Some homework will be assigned at the end of every session to allow you to practice the new skills or strategies you learn during the session.
For those that choose divorce, therapy is also available. However, contrary to common belief, dissolution rarely ends the relationship. This is especially true when children are involved. Rather, dissolution is often a long and painful process involving individual growth. Couples that are committed to create a new relationship as friends and co-parents will find their transformation less painful and more constructive for all concerned.
Silvia Buet offers down-to-earth help for struggling couples, families, individuals. Highly confidential, objective, non-judgmental and accessible counselling. Conveniently located in Belfast to only 5 minutes from City Centre, close to Ormeau Park. Call 02890 586361 for more information, or send e-mail.
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Last Modified: 7 June 2008
Copyright ©2008 Silvia Buet
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